If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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