did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
