Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
