it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
