this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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