I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
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