As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize