well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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