I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
