no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
bring money and cleavage
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
