never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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