shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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