glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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