I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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