She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
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Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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