He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
