I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
