That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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