No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
