I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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