How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
