in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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