Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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