fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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