idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
