Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
