So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
