I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize