Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
