nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
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Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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