I think I won the penis lottery.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
jump out the window naked night went bad
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