So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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