Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She announced her abortion via fbk
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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