So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
where am i from again
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
