I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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