yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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