My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
