I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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