i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have post one night stand depression
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