you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
