you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
