I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
