She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
