how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
