Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
