i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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