Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I had to cum in my sink.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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