is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
