adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
