I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I FOUND THE LEGS
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
