She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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