I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize