Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
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One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
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The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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