She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
