Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
