You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
