Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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