i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
