Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize