Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
