No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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