I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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